Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Bacon is Tastier on the Other Side

12.23.2012

Today we went to a holiday get-together with some of my wife's extended-family. There was a woman there that recently had a baby, so her and my wife discussed practical advice relating to babies. This was good for her, because she got to talk to a person who recently went through pregnancy and understood what she was going through. Unlike most of the other so-called 'advice givers', this woman was sympathetic and gave advice rather than 'tell-it-how-it-was-for-them' by inferring what they thought she needs to do. That fact alone is what drives my wife up the wall, she wants to be seen as more than just a mommy-to-be, she wants to still be seen as a person, as, Lyndsay. She is not a cardboard cut-out or carbon copy of anyone or anything, and doesn't deserve to be treated as such.

Now that I have that out of my system, let's talk about me. (I'm not being conceited or anything) I find that most of the male role-models in today's society are of the stereotypical type. Here's what I mean:
  1. Sex Segregation. Whenever we have group-gatherings at people's houses, the men are in one room or area, and the women are in another. When the men finish eating, they keep their plates/bowls/cups/etc sitting in front of them. After a while, the women will wander into the room where their man is, and will take the dirty eating instruments, and throw them away and/or put them in the sink to be washed. Nothing bothers me more than this. I'm a big boy, I'm more than capable of doing it by myself. I also don't like it when the hostess asks if I want another piece of bread from the oven. I always say, "Not right now." Why? Ten times out of ten, they will stop eating, get up, and retrieve the bread FOR me. If I want another helping of anything, I probably know where it is and can get it, sit down and quit making me look like another stereotype. Argh!
  2. Gender Roles. The woman is there to cook and clean. My wife and I both cook, why? Because we are doing something together and thus, are bonding even more. I don't sit on the couch watching TV in a Fried Green Tomatoes-esque way (Yes, I watched that movie, and I like it a lot). I also wash dishes and clean the house a lot. My wife doesn't work, so yes, I could enslave her in a dictatorship way to be the sole cleaning agent in the house like many men do. But I don't, I usually end up doing most of the cleaning (Sorry if I'm making you look bad honey!), and I'm perfectly fine with that.
  3. You're not a man unless you're a stereotypical man! I'm comfortable with my sexuality/manhood, I don't need another man to validate any of that for me. If I want to help my wife cook or clean the house, I'll do it. Call me a sissy, a wuss, or whatever you want, that doesn't make me less of a man. I don't expect my wife to take on a subordinate role in our relationship by having dinner on the table when I get home for work or having the doorknobs dusted daily. We are equals. Without action out of both of us, the relationship gets dull and begins to create a rut that grows and grows until, guess what? Divorce. Affair(s). Secret lives. Alcohol/drug abuse.

Maybe I've gone too far in my list and offended some of you. If I offend you, you needed it. You needed that ice-bath to wake up from some sort of delusion that had put blinders on your eyes and a bit in your mouth.

Now that I'm done with that rant, I can get on to the actual point I'm trying to make. I didn't just make a deposit and am waiting to collect the interest, I am a full-time banker that has your best interests in mind.

"It is much easier to become a father than to be one" -Kent Nerburn

Found that in the book I just got today, "Dude, You're Gonna be a Dad!" by John Pfeiffer. I know that there are a million ways I could be handling being a 'pre-dad', some worse than others. I'm living in the moment, because for the moment I feel content with who I am and what I've become. I pray that I will always remain as such, because I want my child(ren) to have a safe and loving home and never feel pressure to become something they aren't. We carve our own destinies, make our own future and I'd hate to see myself becoming my child(ren)'s GPS system then notify them that my battery is at 1% capacity before leaving them cold and alone. Another quote, just because I've taken a liking to quotes in the past half-hour, then I'll go:
"You have to live in these moments, not for them. If you look too hard, they blow right by you. If you do not live enough, you will regret every breath." -Corey Taylor

And remember to always look on the bright side of life!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Pillow is Always Cooler on the Other Side

12.20.2012

Today we got approved for WIC, so now we've got a bit more breathing room on our food budget. We still have to go and apply for medicaid and get everything set up as far as doctors appointments go, but other than that, we're off to a good start.

I know it's still early on and everything, but I feel like we, Lyndsay in particular, still need our space from everyone. It's one thing to offer congratulations, but another to suffocate someone with "Are you excited?", "How do you feel about this?", "I want to touch it (her belly when it reaches can't-see-my-feet size)!", and other in-her-face styled prying.
  1. We aren't the "OMG I'M PREGNANT! LET'S HAVE A LINEAR SERIES OF BABY-RELATED/THEMED PARTIES THAT ARE NOT ONLY UNNECESSARY, BUT ABSURD AS WELL! ASK ME HOW FAR I AM!" type people; we enjoy our peace and quiet in regards to our social lives. Not saying we won't have a baby shower, just that a ridiculous amount of parties is well, ridiculous.
  2. When my wife is noticeably pregnant, you do not have presumed permission to touch her belly, ask nicely and respect the answer you get. Strangers beware: if you approach my wife at full-blown baby-belly and reach to touch it without asking or getting a "no", expect my best impression of Bruce Lee to be written in long-hand on your hand/wrist/arm.
  3.  We are excited, but that does not invite you to play 20 questions with us. If we want you to know the plethora of details, you are probably close to us and, therefore, already know. If we are reluctant to release information, and you persist on asking us further questions, then the answer to your next question is: "Shaddup!"
Also, I'm typing this at 1:21 a.m. CST on 12.21.2012, and I can vouch that the world did not end. So anyway, I can't wait until we get to hear the heartbeat so that I can focus some attention to the baby instead of us, I feel like I'm being far too selfish. I also hope that I haven't set my sails too early by telling as many people as we did. I know the percentages for first-time pregnancies ending with loss, and I don't quite know how we would take it if it were to happen. Now I feel like I'm bleeding negativity like a paper cut in a Quentin Tarantino movie. I'll leave you with my newly favorited phrase: Always look on the bright side of life.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Grass is Greener on the Other Side

12.19.2012

Today I called my grandmother who lives out of state to tell her she has another great-grandbaby to welcome into the world in August, she was overjoyed at the news. I elected to wait to tell my coworkers until we told my wife's aunt. We went over to my wife's aunt's house to open Christmas presents. We gave our 'Christmas present' to her and she flipped out, haha. I posted a status about it on Facebook, and within seconds people began to spam the 'like' button. I told one of my friends who is in the army, who happens to be in town this week, we're still trying to work out a time to get together and celebrate 'being dads'. I didn't realize exactly how excited I was until now. I'm still a bit unsure about the future, but as I've learned to say: "Always look on the bright side of life"

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

12.18.2012

First, let's have a little history lesson. My name is Jacob and my wife's name is Lyndsay. We are both 23 years old and have been married since October 31, 2011 (one year and one, going on two months). We live with our puppy, Pumpkin Houndour age five months, and our two turtles Shelly and Squirtle.

With that said, we can get to the matter at hand. About two weeks ago, we began our next chapter in life. Lyndsay suspected that she had become pregnant, so I went and got two pregnancy tests to confirm/deny suspicions. Both turned up positive. A few days later she took another two, and, lo and behold, positives once again. We made an appointment at the health department to further confirm this fact that I tried so hard to deny.

After the at-home tests came back positive, I became an emotional wreck. I was happy, obviously; afraid for the well-being of not only the two of us, but for our unborn child as well; and I was angry that I let the heat of the moment blind me to the safeguarding of protection. It was like a hurricane of emotions stirring me up inside so much, that I didn't quite know how I felt about it all...

Fast forward to today, we got up for the 10 o'clock appointment, and were seen within minutes. They administered another pregnancy test, and, yes, it now is official! Pregnant! Now, you might be looking at the title of this blog and be wondering why I have titled it such. This new finding came as a surprise, as neither of us had planned on kids for quite some time. I work at a job that blatantly refuses to give me a full-time position so I can add Lyndsay to my health insurance. Needless to say, we were taken aback by this pregnancy.

After the appointment, we went to her parents house to bask in our accomplishment. After belting out our battle-cry there, we went to our best friend, Van to tell him the news. My parents were next. They came to our house and were told the news. Words were exchanged and they left, leaving only their congratulations behind. It was only then that I felt the hurricane inside of me finally come to a screeching halt. I knew then, exactly how I felt: Happy, overjoyed, positive, and most of all, excited.

This whole experience can be summed up in the title of this blog, that is to say, always look on the bright side of life. At least we are married and at least we have some sort of financial foothold. We know far too many people that have gotten pregnant before marriage and created their own Hell-on-Earth. So that is my message to you and myself, always look on the bright side of life, because, hey, it could always be worse.